Daddy "try so hard to save money for what"
I realised. It became an obsession.
Save so much money, in the end I go back Sg also will spend it all one. So why bother. Lol.
Hence, despite my hesitation, thus causing the price tickets to rise and now I must take a longer way to the airport (cos its a diff airport), I still went ahead to buy the tickets. It was so rare of me to do that. And despite, not being Able to Secure free accomodation over at the Island, I still went ahead. The most stay in hostel right?
I might sleep on the beach though. Not as much as money saving motivation. But in case, I catch the Northern lights in the middle of the night, being indoors in a student hostel wont do me good.
Dont worry abt me friends. Its not that cold. Its higher than -5 degrees. -5 degrees is not cold. Compared to insanely -20 degrees in Oslo.
This morning, I woke up. Realised that "Hey, lets not worry about money anymore" And I burst out into song.
Like just go for whatever trip lo. Daddy says "Its not like you do it every single day anyway".
Matthew 6:24-34
24 No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will be loyal to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and Mammon.
25 Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing?
26 Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?
27 Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature?
28 So why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin;
29 and yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these
30 Now if God so clothes the grass of the field,, which today is and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?
31 Therefore do not worry saying, 'what shall we eat" or 'what shall we drink' or 'what shall we wear?'
32 For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father KNOWS that you need all these things.
33 But seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you
34 Therfore, do no worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.
Life is more important than money. Jesus gave up His life for you. Not His monetary riches for you. Although giving up His life, includes giving up His money for you. :)
Thursday
Wednesday
Signs that you're losing it or rather more accurately, lost it already
1) You think that you are way behind life, after you recover from leg break. You secretly wish that your leg was still broken, so u have a good reason to be behind life.
2) You dont want to do anything or talk to anyone
3) You hate speaking in that ang moh accent - slow and articulate, paying extra attention to how you enunciate your words with the correct mouth+tongue+lips+ breadth combo.
4) You are no longer amazed that the ang mohs cant understand Singapore accent. You are insulted that they dont understand any shit that you speak in English
5) You start to think that ang moh accent sounds stupid and ridiculous and that everyone should have Singapore/Malaysian accent
6) Hence, you hate to speak to the next ang moh, or even asians, who also cant understand ur Singapore accent.
7) You rather stay at home and watch soccer or anime than attend parties. You lost count of how many people that actually knows you - it does not interest you anymore. In fact, you cant be bothered anymore if someone talks to you and you dont rmb seeing him/her, and it seems like he knows u cos ur whose whose friend.
8) Everyone who knows you exclaim "its like forever since I see you John" And you dont know how to reply to that. You wish they wldnt make such a fuss abt it.
9) You start to demand from you family/friends in Singapore, and become rather impatient with them. You wonder why they dont check their mails more often even though they know you are overseas. Its like this inertia to readjust their lifestyle is greater than your absence. Which means you are probably insignificant.
10) You hate and feels disgusted at Sg friends who msn you just to ask you about exchange and ridiculous miscellaneous meticulous stuff and seems like they arent really concerned whether you live or die there. Or rather, use you as an information guide, and you went through all that shit just to provide them with these information, which they can find out themselves.
11) You hate it when your family seems to forget you. Or are uncommitted to your well-being. Words no longer mean anything to you.
12) Yes, Words no longer mean anything to you at all. Whoever they are from.
13) You get sick of Angmohs being so friendly to you. Yes, words no longer mean anything to you. They are so utterly sweet, both the male and female white species, that they make your fellow Singaporeans look like total bastards and bimbotic bitches.
14) Exotically Oriental no longer means anything to you. You cant be bothered where the next person you meet is from. America or Japan, even Bhutan or Macedonia.
15) You dont know what the hell are you doing here
16) You think God does not exist in the North part of the world
17) Sg friends who tell you things like "John, you dont know how much Im suffering in Nus. Im not as lucky as you. I think you should have a better attitude towards exchange." ends up in your block list and deleted from your facebook, even if he claims he's just trying to psy u up.
18) Also friends ask you about monetary issues here and you spend tons of time explaining to them and they exclaim "Really meh? Need like that one meh? I got a friend ah... He pay using bank... " also ends up on your block list. (you ask me so many questions just to tell me about your friend and doubt and make me look like im terrible at living overseas. You're so great, why not you come here and live alone - cook ur own meals (eating the same thing for 2 weeks, bcos u buy in bulk to save cost) , do ur own groceries (walking 10 supermarket just to look for the cheapest vegetables/meat/rice), pay ur own rent, wash your own dish and clothes, clean the whole house, asking ur neighbours to translate all ur bank letters in Norwegian, plan ur own trips, booking your own flights and hotels and hostels, and ferries, and trying to convince urself that you got a good deal.
Yes, I suck at planning my own trips I know. I feel like tearing my hair out each time. So far Ive been lucky that I have not froze to death in the forest. I even slept in the airport overnight. But I am learning.
19) Also people here who always complain to you about how expensive Oslo is but in the end, does nothing about them, even though u give them a million solutions to cut costs, ends up irritating you. You wonder why they complain so much about money and dont do anything about it. And so, you give up giving them solutions While other people, dont complain much and are brilliant at saving money. I am not referring to myself here. I still have more to learn.
20) Nus friends who msn you all the time saying "Im not as rich as you to go exchange" irritates you as well. You look at their Sg lifestyle & yours and you feel confused as to the above sentence.
21) Sg people who keep asking u on msn how many countries you been to seriously irritates you as well. It makes you think that they are only concern about the tag of having covered 4324809 countries. Srsly, I can cover the whole of europe in 2 weeks. Just fly here fly there lo. Isnt that simple?
22) Sg people who ask you "where have you been to" And you reply "Bergen, Hamar, Flam" and they reply "oh those are inside Norway. What about outside Norway" also irritates you. There seem to be some status associated with going to more countries. You wonder why people are so superficial. This rat race to see who touches his/her feet on more countries is so disgusting. Havent you had enough of rat race? Truth be told, it is more expensive to travel INSIDE Norway than outside Norway. A ticket to Sweden is dirt cheap. And its freaking expensive to get a ticket to Bergen. Besides, 1 day in a country isnt called "I've travelled that country". What on earth did you travel really?
What's the difference between inside Norway and outside? Every place in Norway looks different, the people speaks different Norwegian Language - but it doesnt matter, cos its all gibberish to you - and every state has its own culture, people, and whatever.
23) You wish you were less tolerant of these people and ask them to f off. In fact, you probably did without realising it. Which goes to show that you lost it already. Not realising that you lost it means you have completely lost it.
Yes, I wrote 2 angry emails to my family and relatives already.
24) You start to think you have very little friends in Singapore. Or people who you call friends anyway. I remember reading a fellow SEP friend's blog. She said she felt v insecure and had to receive reassurance from friends that they will remain as friends. I thought "how silly" And now I am not so prideful about it anymore.
25) You wish you were more emotional. You actually secretly desire a emotional breakdown so you can feel better. But then, you dont understand why you can appear so cool and collected all the time. It actually frustrates you.
26) You wish your leg was actually completely broken. This in between status seems irritating.
27) You wonder if you die in Norway, will anyone know/care? Or will it be "just a story/news/headlines/gossip for people to pass time"
28) You feel so terribly LONELY. Even though people on the streets talk to you everyday, everyone knows you for this or that reason. Today a Korean girl came up to me and ask "how are u. i see that u r walking now". I said "how do u know me?" She said "well, everyone's talking about u" And you wish you were completely invisible. This loneliness and emptiness makes you feel like screaming your lungs out. Till you have no more breath.
You start to think that one more friend and one less friend makes no difference. You lose interest in friendships and socialisationm, even potential ones that you already have. You dont even want to make any more effort. You dont want anyone to know u and rmb u. You dont want anything to do with this world.
29) You think that you are the worst friend any international friend here can have. You just suck. You suck at being a friend. And the worst friend any Sg people can have.
30) The remaining ones that are still extremely nice to you, you feel you completely dont deserve it and wish that they would completely forget you. So that you dont disappoint them over and over again.
31) If you are actually reading this, it means that you dont belong to the above negative categories, but the positive ones.
32) Finally, Im completely alright. I choose to believe this is a phase. Just a phase. Just pray for me if you love me.
2) You dont want to do anything or talk to anyone
3) You hate speaking in that ang moh accent - slow and articulate, paying extra attention to how you enunciate your words with the correct mouth+tongue+lips+ breadth combo.
4) You are no longer amazed that the ang mohs cant understand Singapore accent. You are insulted that they dont understand any shit that you speak in English
5) You start to think that ang moh accent sounds stupid and ridiculous and that everyone should have Singapore/Malaysian accent
6) Hence, you hate to speak to the next ang moh, or even asians, who also cant understand ur Singapore accent.
7) You rather stay at home and watch soccer or anime than attend parties. You lost count of how many people that actually knows you - it does not interest you anymore. In fact, you cant be bothered anymore if someone talks to you and you dont rmb seeing him/her, and it seems like he knows u cos ur whose whose friend.
8) Everyone who knows you exclaim "its like forever since I see you John" And you dont know how to reply to that. You wish they wldnt make such a fuss abt it.
9) You start to demand from you family/friends in Singapore, and become rather impatient with them. You wonder why they dont check their mails more often even though they know you are overseas. Its like this inertia to readjust their lifestyle is greater than your absence. Which means you are probably insignificant.
10) You hate and feels disgusted at Sg friends who msn you just to ask you about exchange and ridiculous miscellaneous meticulous stuff and seems like they arent really concerned whether you live or die there. Or rather, use you as an information guide, and you went through all that shit just to provide them with these information, which they can find out themselves.
11) You hate it when your family seems to forget you. Or are uncommitted to your well-being. Words no longer mean anything to you.
12) Yes, Words no longer mean anything to you at all. Whoever they are from.
13) You get sick of Angmohs being so friendly to you. Yes, words no longer mean anything to you. They are so utterly sweet, both the male and female white species, that they make your fellow Singaporeans look like total bastards and bimbotic bitches.
14) Exotically Oriental no longer means anything to you. You cant be bothered where the next person you meet is from. America or Japan, even Bhutan or Macedonia.
15) You dont know what the hell are you doing here
16) You think God does not exist in the North part of the world
17) Sg friends who tell you things like "John, you dont know how much Im suffering in Nus. Im not as lucky as you. I think you should have a better attitude towards exchange." ends up in your block list and deleted from your facebook, even if he claims he's just trying to psy u up.
18) Also friends ask you about monetary issues here and you spend tons of time explaining to them and they exclaim "Really meh? Need like that one meh? I got a friend ah... He pay using bank... " also ends up on your block list. (you ask me so many questions just to tell me about your friend and doubt and make me look like im terrible at living overseas. You're so great, why not you come here and live alone - cook ur own meals (eating the same thing for 2 weeks, bcos u buy in bulk to save cost) , do ur own groceries (walking 10 supermarket just to look for the cheapest vegetables/meat/rice), pay ur own rent, wash your own dish and clothes, clean the whole house, asking ur neighbours to translate all ur bank letters in Norwegian, plan ur own trips, booking your own flights and hotels and hostels, and ferries, and trying to convince urself that you got a good deal.
Yes, I suck at planning my own trips I know. I feel like tearing my hair out each time. So far Ive been lucky that I have not froze to death in the forest. I even slept in the airport overnight. But I am learning.
19) Also people here who always complain to you about how expensive Oslo is but in the end, does nothing about them, even though u give them a million solutions to cut costs, ends up irritating you. You wonder why they complain so much about money and dont do anything about it. And so, you give up giving them solutions While other people, dont complain much and are brilliant at saving money. I am not referring to myself here. I still have more to learn.
20) Nus friends who msn you all the time saying "Im not as rich as you to go exchange" irritates you as well. You look at their Sg lifestyle & yours and you feel confused as to the above sentence.
21) Sg people who keep asking u on msn how many countries you been to seriously irritates you as well. It makes you think that they are only concern about the tag of having covered 4324809 countries. Srsly, I can cover the whole of europe in 2 weeks. Just fly here fly there lo. Isnt that simple?
22) Sg people who ask you "where have you been to" And you reply "Bergen, Hamar, Flam" and they reply "oh those are inside Norway. What about outside Norway" also irritates you. There seem to be some status associated with going to more countries. You wonder why people are so superficial. This rat race to see who touches his/her feet on more countries is so disgusting. Havent you had enough of rat race? Truth be told, it is more expensive to travel INSIDE Norway than outside Norway. A ticket to Sweden is dirt cheap. And its freaking expensive to get a ticket to Bergen. Besides, 1 day in a country isnt called "I've travelled that country". What on earth did you travel really?
What's the difference between inside Norway and outside? Every place in Norway looks different, the people speaks different Norwegian Language - but it doesnt matter, cos its all gibberish to you - and every state has its own culture, people, and whatever.
23) You wish you were less tolerant of these people and ask them to f off. In fact, you probably did without realising it. Which goes to show that you lost it already. Not realising that you lost it means you have completely lost it.
Yes, I wrote 2 angry emails to my family and relatives already.
24) You start to think you have very little friends in Singapore. Or people who you call friends anyway. I remember reading a fellow SEP friend's blog. She said she felt v insecure and had to receive reassurance from friends that they will remain as friends. I thought "how silly" And now I am not so prideful about it anymore.
25) You wish you were more emotional. You actually secretly desire a emotional breakdown so you can feel better. But then, you dont understand why you can appear so cool and collected all the time. It actually frustrates you.
26) You wish your leg was actually completely broken. This in between status seems irritating.
27) You wonder if you die in Norway, will anyone know/care? Or will it be "just a story/news/headlines/gossip for people to pass time"
28) You feel so terribly LONELY. Even though people on the streets talk to you everyday, everyone knows you for this or that reason. Today a Korean girl came up to me and ask "how are u. i see that u r walking now". I said "how do u know me?" She said "well, everyone's talking about u" And you wish you were completely invisible. This loneliness and emptiness makes you feel like screaming your lungs out. Till you have no more breath.
You start to think that one more friend and one less friend makes no difference. You lose interest in friendships and socialisationm, even potential ones that you already have. You dont even want to make any more effort. You dont want anyone to know u and rmb u. You dont want anything to do with this world.
29) You think that you are the worst friend any international friend here can have. You just suck. You suck at being a friend. And the worst friend any Sg people can have.
30) The remaining ones that are still extremely nice to you, you feel you completely dont deserve it and wish that they would completely forget you. So that you dont disappoint them over and over again.
31) If you are actually reading this, it means that you dont belong to the above negative categories, but the positive ones.
32) Finally, Im completely alright. I choose to believe this is a phase. Just a phase. Just pray for me if you love me.
Tuesday
I really do wanna go to Lofoten with Anne and Anna. However, I would need to sleep in hostels for 4 days. 200Kr per night. Means 800 Kr gone. Means 175 sing dollars gone. Like that. Saving on accomodation remains my main Priority.
I seriously dont think its worth spending on accomodation cos its just sleeping. But in winter, I think I need it. Well. Lets see.
After talking about it to Ganesh, I feel that I should not go Lofoten at all.
All the signs point to the fact that I would NOT see the northern lights, nor the whales.
Weather forecasts says that its CLOUDY until tuesday (sucks)
Hence, I should just go Tromso, ALONE or whatever. And get some free accomodation there. Get on a whale seeing trip.
Ok. That's the plan.
And reminder: Gan and I has to go to the most Northern part of Europe. Svaldard island. However u spell it. In summer. Not in winter, cos its -80 degrees in winter now. Yes, -80. And we can see the MidNight Sun in ALL ITS GLORY! :)
I seriously dont think its worth spending on accomodation cos its just sleeping. But in winter, I think I need it. Well. Lets see.
After talking about it to Ganesh, I feel that I should not go Lofoten at all.
All the signs point to the fact that I would NOT see the northern lights, nor the whales.
Weather forecasts says that its CLOUDY until tuesday (sucks)
Hence, I should just go Tromso, ALONE or whatever. And get some free accomodation there. Get on a whale seeing trip.
Ok. That's the plan.
And reminder: Gan and I has to go to the most Northern part of Europe. Svaldard island. However u spell it. In summer. Not in winter, cos its -80 degrees in winter now. Yes, -80. And we can see the MidNight Sun in ALL ITS GLORY! :)
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